


if i'm being honest

by MajesticAnna



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Haikyuu!! Manga Spoilers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:27:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28939947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticAnna/pseuds/MajesticAnna
Summary: Of course, it wasn’t easy. They had fights and tiffs when they missed the other, or when they were disappointed after a match, or when life just simply handed them an exhausting day. It took effort, yes, but nothing that Tobio couldn’t handle.He is used to working hard for what he loves, be it for volleyball or Hinata Shouyou.+++Shouyou is upset. Tobio wants to know why.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 14
Kudos: 141





	if i'm being honest

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emlee_J](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emlee_J/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, Em! I didn't know if I would have this done in time but the brain worms got to me! I adore you so so much, and I hope your day is going splendidly because you deserve it!!!! Make sure you indulge in tons of Kagehina (and alcohol) and keep being your amazing self <3

For once in their adult lives, Tobio and Shouyou are on the same continent, when Shouyou moves home and joins the MSBY Black Jackals. Luckily, Shouyou’s training facilities are also in Tokyo, so it is without much commotion and little fanfare that they move in together.

It is also, then, very easy for them to get engaged. Tobio ordered a ring when he heard Shouyou was coming back to Japan, almost forgetting that they weren’t officially dating yet.

They had been acting like boyfriends since Shouyou left for Rio, so you can’t really blame Tobio. After an awkward attempt to confess, Shouyou put Tobio out of his misery and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, blushing a bright red and then running away through the park where they said their goodbyes.

Tobio touched his cheek after the fleeting moment, knowing in his heart, Shouyou would always be his.

Of course, it wasn’t easy. They had fights and tiffs when they missed the other, or when they were disappointed after a match, or when life just simply handed them an exhausting day. It took effort, yes, but nothing that Tobio couldn’t handle.

He is used to working hard for what he loves, be it for volleyball or Hinata Shouyou.

Thus, he forgot they had never officially called each other boyfriends. But then, Shouyou and Tobio had never been ones to follow the normal route of life.

Still, Tobio thinks proposing to your not-quite-boyfriend at an airport surrounded by their other friends isn’t the smartest idea.

He remembered, thankfully, not to propose then. Only sobbed a bit when he finally held Shouyou in his arms, but no presenting of rings!

At least, at that time.

He lasted a whole month until he finally succumbed to the pressure and whipped out the box for Shouyou at breakfast, saying “marry me?”. Shouyou spent the rest of the morning showing his enthusiasm in enthusiastic ways, peppering kisses all over his face and other indiscrete locations.

Their whole lives had led up to this moment. There was no need to stress over if the timing was too fast or not. They needed to be in each other's lives, and this way felt the best.

Now, Tobio and Shouyou were living the domestic, happy life of their dreams. So why then, had Shouyou’s sour mood been siphoning off the air of the room in the past hour?

He came home from practice in this foul state, slamming the door and barely snapping a greeting. Then he sat at the table and held his legs to his chest, staring angrily at the other chair at the kitchen table.

People can have bad days or moods, but something about this situation troubles Tobio. The lack of communication and the tension in his slouched shoulders...

Tobio blinks, and scrolls through a list in his mind. What could be upsetting Shouyou? His fiancé had issues voicing negative thoughts, so Tobio worked out a system of analysis and questions that help figure out what Shouyou wants to discuss. Or was avoiding discussing.

Tobio sits down at the other end of the table, right in the place where Shouyou is staring. Shouyou’s eyes are glassy, and he moves them so that he is angrily staring at their roomba.

“Shouyou?”

“Yes?” Shouyou says, voice gravelly after disuse. He clears his throat. “What is it?”

“Did practice go well?” Tobio asks. Tread lightly, carefully. Distract him with volleyball and see where the trail leads.

“Yeah, practice was fine.” Shouyou’s lips turn up at the corners, a breath of relief that dissolves some of the tension existing within them. “We’ve been getting the quick down.”

“That’s good,” Tobio says, honestly. Though he misses setting to Hinata, he always loved how passionate he got with volleyball. Plus, they had the national team in their future, where Tobio would be setting to him as many times as he could.

He wants to lighten the mood, though, so he tries for a coy tone. “Does this mean you don’t miss my sets?”

“No.” Hinata smirks and rubs his eyes with a palm. “Yours are the best.”

It’s good that Shouyou is reacting well to the teasing, but Tobio still wants to find the origin of his bad mood. “Are you getting along with your teammates?”

Shouyou plays with the end of his sock, picking at the fuzz there. It takes him a while to respond. “Bokuto and Atsumu are fun to hang out with, and Omi is warming up to me. He let me use his hand sanitizer the other day. Actually.” He pauses here, then inhales deeply. “Tomas and Inunaki invited me out to a dinner this week...they said I could bring anyone I wanted to.”

“Oh,” Tobio says. “Did you want me to go?”

Shouyou nods his head fast. After a second, wetness pools in the edges of his eyes. The sight makes Tobio want to reach out and touch, but he restrains himself. He doesn’t want Shouyou to close off.

Shouyou inhales on a gasp, the words coming out cracking around the edges. “Yeah, uh, I said ‘sure, I’d love to come.’ But then in the locker room, they were talking about how Atsumu’s twin, Osamu, was getting married soon, and how Kita would finally be a Miya after so long… and then I got to thinking.” Shouyou turns his head, eyes glimmering with glassy tears threatening to overflow.

“Are we changing our names if we get married?”

With his last words, Shouyou chokes on a full sob and Tobio, worry overwhelming him, knows it’s time to move. He gets out of his chair and goes to Shouyou, kneeling on the floor and holding out his arms. Shouyou unravels, releasing his legs in exchange for Tobio’s warmth; he slinks off the chair and into Tobio’s waiting grasp. He tucks his head against his chest and cries, letting Tobio rock him and whisper warm words of comfort, their bodies tangled on the floor.

Tobio rubs his hands down Shouyou’s back, through his hair, and back again. He’s not quite sure what he’s murmuring, maybe a mumble of Shouyou’s name, as Shouyou slowly relaxes.

Finally, when the sobs calm down into sniffles, Tobio tells him. “Shouyou, we don’t have to change out names if we don’t want to.”

“I know!” Shouyou’s muffled shout reverates against his chest—apparently not what he wanted to hear. He holds Tobio even tighter. “But I want—” He cuts himself off, burying his face in Tobio’s neck.

Tobio waits a few beats. Then, he presses. “What do you want?”

Shouyou shakes his head, embarrassed at his reason, or maybe at his emotions. Tobio keeps telling him that he doesn’t always have to be the strong, happy one, but it’s still hard for him to fully let go every time.

“Shouyou, you can tell me. I’m here for you.”

“I want…” Shouyou whispers, quiet with his admission. He traces Tobio’s chest lightly with a finger. “I want everyone to know we are together.”

A tendril of warmth wraps around Tobio’s heart. His mouth wobbles dangerously at the softness deep within him. “I want that, too.”

“I remember.” Shouyou swallows. Inhales. His voice shakes when he says: “You said ‘Hinata Tobio’ sounds like a good name.”

Tobio blushes at the name coming from Shouyou’s mouth. “I did.”

Shouyou’s hands clench over Tobio’s heart. “I don’t want that.”

Wait. “What?”

“I don’t want you to be a Hinata.” Tobio looks down at Shouyou’s face and is shocked at the dark sincerity there. He is cold, and determined.

But the conversation sparks a light bulb in Tobio’s brain: “Then you want to be—”

“No!” Shouyou shakes his head. “Or, yes, I do want to be a Kageyama but that’s not it…” His voice trails off as if unsure of what he wants to say next.

“C’mon, Shouyou,” Tobio says. “We’ve gotten this far.” He releases one hand to tilt Shouyou’s head up. “What is it?”

It comes out in a rush: “IwantyoutostayasaKageyama.”

“Sorry?”

“I want.” Shouyou sighs. “I want you to stay as a Kageyama.”

Tobio blinks. He takes it in. Then, he lets loose a chuckle of disbelief. “What?”

“I knew you would laugh!” Shouyou leans back to playfully punch Tobio’s face. He’s not truly upset, amused as the lingering sadness around his eyes disappears. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Why do you want me to stay as a Kageyama?” Tobio is sure there has to be a reason.

“How else am I going to give you nicknames!” Shouyou exclaims. When Tobio laughs, Shouyou pinches his cheeks and pulls at them. “‘Yamayama-kun, Poutyama, Cuddlyama, Cheesyama, Sleepyama—”

“Alright, alright.” Tobio pulls Shouyou’s hands away but leaves them linked between them. “I got it.” And then he sobers, rubbing a thumb over Shouyou’s knuckles. “What’s the real reason?”

“What? That was the real reason—”

“Shouyou.”

“Tobio.”

“Shouyou!”

“What?!”

Tobio takes Shouyou’s right hand and kisses his ring, right where it meets his skin. “What’s the reason?”

Shouyou’s eyes, still shiny from his crying, lose a bit of their glint of light. Tobio doesn’t like seeing it, but he knows they need to have this conversation. Shouyou looks away, targeting his gaze at their roomba again.

The poor robot. Under Shouyou’s saddened eyes.

“Tobio,” Shouyou says. He sighs, and wets his lips. “Do you remember Kazuyo’s promise to you?”

“Of course.” The pang of memories of Kazuyo doesn’t hurt Tobio as much as it used to. Now he mostly feels warm nostalgia when he thinks of him.

“I did it.” Shouyou meets his eyes. “I found you.”

“You did.” Tobio’s heart clenches in pain and in happiness. Of a promise fulfilled past death.

“And I…” Shouyou continues. His mouth pinches and Tobio pushes down the urge to smooth it out with his own lips. “You were lonely for a lot of your life, when Miwa quit volleyball and Kazuyo got sick…”

“Mmm.”

“You were loved, but then you were alone.” Shouyou bites his lips, whispers his confession: “I don’t want you to be alone again.”

“Shou.” Tobio brushes a curl behind Shoyou’s ear. “I’m not alone anymore.”

He hasn’t been, for a while. When he started at Karasuno all those years ago, he gained so many friends and loved ones he had never had before. And then, he repaired his relationship with Miwa, and got to watch Natsu grow up into a feisty setter capable of taking over the world all on her own.

So he wonders what Shouyou wants to say.

“I know but.” The final words, they push through Shouyou’s lips: “I want to give you a family all of your own.”

The breath is knocked out of Tobio, releasing in a soft woosh. His voice is quiet as he says: “What?”

“More than rings or anything, I want people to know we belong together, even when we’re apart,” Shouyou says. He smiles softly. “I want to always be yours, and one day, when we decide to expand our family, I want us to be the ‘Yamas.

“To be there for you. Always.”

Tobio’s eyes glisten with his own tears. He buries his face in Shouyou’s neck. “You are my family, Shou.”

Shouyou sighs, and shudders, the after-effects of their emotional conversation, finally released. “It doesn’t really matter to me, if we’re Hinatas or Kageyamas or any mixture of the two. As long as we stay together.”

Tobio leans back, and brushes Shouyou’s hair with his fingers. “We can be Kageyamas if you want to.”

“Really?” Shouyou’s eyes light up as he looks up at him.

“Yes.” Tobio snickers. “Though Natsu might throw a fit, Miwa will be happy.”

“She can suffer,” Shouyou says, flippantly. “Or change her name if she’s so jealous.”

“So mean.”

“I just speak the truth.”

They relax into each other, their bodies warm in their mess of limbs. The night grows darker, light leaving the day. It’s a while before Shouyou says: “We’ll be better parents than them, Tobio. Better ‘Yamas.”

Tobio’s body stiffens, but he knows what’s in his heart to be true.

“We will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Anna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinpanna/pseuds/rinpanna) for reading this over, she the real MVP!!! 
> 
> title from dodie's song of the same name! thanks for reading <3
> 
> twit: [@majesticdeku](https://twitter.com/majesticdeku)


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